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Dear Kevin,

When I give you this letter, I'm going to make you promise not to read it unless something happens to me, so I hope you never read it.

If you are reading it, then either you've broken your promise to me or something bad really has happened to me, and I pray every day that neither one of those things ever happen. I don't think you'd ever break a promise you made to me so if your reading this, something really bad must have happened to me.

I'm really scared Kevin. After what happened yesterday, I'm scared of JP. Not all the time. Just sometimes, like when he gets really mad like he did yesterday. When he gets like that I don't even know who he is. I don't know what would of happened if you hadn't called the police.

I know I was really mad at you at first for doing that and I don't think I ever thanked you, so thank you. It was probably the right thing to do, but I just couldn't see that then. I was so mad at JP I guess it just spilled over on to you. I still can't believe he was like that. I've never seen him so mad and I've never been so scared.

I know you think I should break up with him, but most of the time we get along ok and some parts of our relationship are so good. But yesterday it was like he wasn't the guy I know at all. He was someone else that I don't know and don't like. Someone I was scared of. I think one of us would of ended up dead if the police hadn't come.

If something bad has happened to me, Kevin. If I'm beat up or worse (I'm too scared to even write what the worse might be) make sure they talk to JP.

I know we used to talk about how Roger might hurt me one day, but I still don't believe he would, even though you do. That stuff was before the restraining order. Since we got that, I can't see Roger coming after me.

I know you don't like him because he's acted like a jerk so much since we got divorced. I've complained about him alot and he's done alot of things that weren't very nice, but I wish you'd believe me that he wasn't allways like that.

He's done alot of things that hurt my feelings and made me cry and I know how much you hate that, but when we were first together, he was so nice and so sweet to me and Liddie.

I just can't believe he'd do anything that would hurt Liddie. And hurting me would hurt Liddie. So if the police are involved again, don't tell them it was Roger just because you don't like him.

In case I can't tell you myself when your reading this, thank you Kevin for being such a good friend to Liddie and I since we moved here. You have always been there for us and there's no way I can ever thank you enough for that.

I know not everything worked out the way you wanted it, but you have to believe me that was for the best. It never would of worked out for you and I and if we had tried we probably would of made each other unhappy and lost our friendship. I never want to do anything to lose you as a friend.

I love you like the brother I never had. Take care of yourself and, if I can't do it anymore for some reason, keep an eye on my precious Liddie for me. You know how much she loves you and if I'm gone she'll need you more than ever.

Thank you for everything. You are a better friend than I deserve.

Much love,

Missy